


Begat

by jellyboat



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Space, Angst, Gen, Light Angst, Outer Space
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-12 01:27:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5648734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellyboat/pseuds/jellyboat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kyungsoo knows exactly where he was born and exactly where he's going to die. It’s all that time in between that's causing the problem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Begat

**Author's Note:**

> This was written for the prompt: The life of two roommates on a space station. They've never seen Earth, and won't live long enough to see their destination.
> 
> Warnings: Mentions of death and decomposition, implied anxiety/depression, very minor mention of blood
> 
> 5.2k

Like all clocks aboard _Dozen Wolves_ , Kyungsoo’s alarm clock was linked to the central computer, and therefore kept perfect time. So he knew that when his alarm went off, it was precisely 05:00:00. He also knew that when his roommate’s pillow finished its customary arc across the room and smacked him square in the head, it was precisely 05:00:08.  


Kyungsoo struck blindly at the clock until the noise stopped, then he rolled out of bed. Stumbling and muttering, he made his way across the room and pressed Jongdae’s thrown pillow down onto his face. “Come on, get up.”  


“"Noooooo..." Jongdae whined, his voice muffled by his roommate’s early-morning suffocation attempt. He grabbed the pillow and tucked it back beneath his head, wiggling his way deeper under the covers. “Too comfy.” Kyungsoo left him to snooze, and returned to his own side of the room to grab his bathrobe and towel before sliding open the bathroom door and locking it behind him. He turned on the shower spray as hot as he could stand it, stepped under the water, and started to wake up.  


By the time Kyungsoo walked out of the bathroom, rubbing his hair dry and feeling much more human, Jongdae had gotten up and was finishing his morning prayers. He made a deep bow to the little black statue of his family’s ancient cat-headed god, then another to the ancestor shrine beside it. “Say good morning to your ancestors, Kyungsoo,” he said, waving a hand towards the nearly identical ancestor shrine on the bookshelf above Kyungsoo’s bed.  


Kyungsoo sighed, but bowed low to the shrine nonetheless. “Good morning, honored ancestors. Please watch over me this day and all days.” He turned and bowed again. “Good morning, Jongdae’s honored ancestors. Good morning, Jongdae’s cat god.”  


“Hey, you may not believe in Basya but Basya believes in _you_ ,” Jongdae said with a goofy grin as he tapped his viewscreen to life and pulled up the forecast. “Crap, looks like it’s gonna rain today.” Kyungsoo groaned loudly, realizing the outfit he’d laid out the night before would now be useless. Jongdae groaned back even more exaggeratedly, pressing the back of his hand to his forehead and flopping down onto his bed. Kyungsoo couldn’t help but smile, and Jongdae broke into his loud, staccato laugh in victory.  


“You gonna come to breakfast with me?” Kyungsoo asked as he dug his umbrella out of his closet.  


“Nah, not today, I gotta head into work early. They’ve got me scheduled to fix some wiring in one of the external panels. I’m gonna have to take another friggin shower this afternoon too - nothing gets me sweatier than a spacewalk.”  


“At least grab one of those meal bars before you go, ok? We don’t need you fainting out there from low blood sugar, and you know how your manager hates having to reel people in.”  


“Yes, Mother.” Jongdae flung his work jumpsuit onto his bed and headed for his turn in the bathroom. “Have a nice day!” He called as Kyungsoo walked out of the bedroom and through their little lounge.  


“You too, see you later.” Kyungsoo slid the front door open, and stepped into the corridor and the rain.  


He took his time with breakfast in the sector dining hall, immersed in the book on his commpad while his stocking feet rested on the cool tile beside his old, worn rain boots. He knew he ought to trade them back to the shop and get a new pair sometime, but he didn’t see any rush. The rainy season was nearly over, and he probably wouldn’t need to wear them again for a while. His food finished, Kyungsoo slipped his boots back on, cleared his place, and opened his umbrella as he stepped back out into the rainy hall.  


The storm hadn’t lightened at all; the water system in the ceiling still throwing down puddles for Kyungsoo to dodge as he jogged along the hall in an attempt to stay dry. He usually took the walk more slowly so he could enjoy the time to himself, especially on days when Jongdae wasn’t there to flirt indiscriminately with half the people they passed, That always made Kyungsoo cover his eyes and pray for the floor to open up and swallow him.  


Kyungsoo settled into his workday at the sector’s garden shop and his mind began to drift pleasantly. His parents had pushed him to do something more obviously ‘For the Ship’, and he certainly had the brains for a technical job, but he was just drawn to something simpler. For a while he had considered becoming a farmer when he finished school, but the idea of moving to one of the agricultural decks so far away from his family and friends was a bit too much for him. So he spent his time in the shop, surrounded by flowers and the smell of dirt, and by people who came in hoping to make a little garden in one of the community plots or just to grow something in a pot in their lounge.  


None of them had to grow anything to survive, of course. That’s what the ag decks were for. And growing flowers would have been too much of a luxury for a shorter-haul ship, but like so many things aboard _Dozen Wolves_ , it was there for Those to Come. The ship itself could have manufactured enough food to keep everyone on board alive and healthy, but that option was kept in reserve for extreme emergency situations only. You don’t send a generation ship out to start a new colony if you’re just going to let them die because of a crop failure.  


Only a few customers came in that day, most of them regulars. Kyungsoo chatted about how their flowers were doing, and he smiled. A little girl came in looking for something to grow in her family’s garden, and he lifted her up on his shoulder so she could pick just the right tomato seedling from a high rack. He repotted a snake plant, and he closed his eyes to appreciate the scent and the feeling as he dug his fingers into the soil. But for some reason he found it hard to stomach the knowledge that the soil itself contained the broken down bodies of those who had come before him. _Dozen Wolves_ was an almost entirely closed system, so it would have been unthinkable to jettison a corpse full of nutrients into space, or leave it to rot under a headstone.  


There was no room for a graveyard anyway. It would have gotten too large.  


He tried to focus on the flowers, the bright things, the simple work. Then a message from his mother dinged onto his commpad. Ah. He had almost forgotten what day it was.  


The rest of the day blurred by, and suddenly it was time for dinner. He opened the shop door slowly, hoping to avoid a splash or a gust of wind, but when he saw it wasn’t raining he stuffed his collapsible umbrella into his jacket pocket. Kyungsoo ambled to the sector dining hall, enjoying the smell of the corridor after rain. With his tray loaded, Kyungsoo found a seat near his old friend Junmyeon and a couple of his coworkers, Sehun and Minseok. After about fifteen minutes of eating and chatting, Kyungsoo felt some water drip onto his shoulder.  


“Way to be, weather jerks.” Jongdae plopped down beside him, wet and looking annoyed. “I do my spacewalk, it’s not raining when I head home, I take a nice shower, dry off, and it starts raining again when I’m halfway to dinner!”  


“Holy _crap_ , Jong _dae_ …” Sehun whined, his forehead falling to the table with a thunk. Minseok just raised a sharp eyebrow and got back to his food.  


Junmyeon sighed. “Jongdae, you know we don’t decide the weather, right? It’s important for me to know you understand this one. We just make sure the weather happens the way it’s supposed to. We’re programmers. If it starts snowing in the middle of summer, then you can come complain to us, but it’s the rainy season. It’s gonna rain.”   


Jongdae just pouted, looking thoroughly betrayed as his soggy hair flopped down into his eyes. Junmyeon laughed, patting Jongdae’s cheek only to have his hand batted away and grumbled at. “Those to Come will learn from your mistakes, Kim Jongdae. They’ll say, ‘Oh, thank goodness our ancestors had the weather system on _Dozen Wolves_ so they would learn to bring an umbrella out when it's supposed to rain, and pass that knowledge onto us. Let us go place cookies on their shrines to thank them for their totally avoidable sacrifice.  


“Whatever. I’m wet and it sucks and it’s your fault.” Jongdae stuck out his tongue, then started eating french fries as petulantly as he could manage.  


When Jongdae’s plate was barely half-empty, an alarm pinged out from Junmyeon’s commpad. Jun pulled the screen from his pocket, dismissing the alert. “Time to head to choir practice. Dae, Soo, you kids ready to go?”  


“Yeff, abfootley,” Jongdae said, stuffing the remainder of his salad into his mouth and standing up as he looked expectantly at his roommate. “Foo?”

  
“I uh, actually have to skip practice today,” Kyungsoo responded, barely looking up from his plate. “My mom sent me a message to remind me it’s my great-grandmother’s yahrtzeit today, so I have to head up to the park and meet my family.”  


Jongdae swallowed thickly. “Oh shoot, has it been a year already since her last yahrtzeit? Man that means my great-grandfather’s is coming up…”  


“Yeah she died 30 years ago today and she was my eldest Embarking Ancestor so...yeah I have to get changed and meet with everyone.” Kyungsoo grabbed his tray and stood up quickly, suddenly desperate to be out of there.  


“Hey hey wait!” Jongdae snatched a napkin from the dispenser and quickly ripped it into the rough shape of a cat’s head. He pulled a pen from his pocket, writing Kyungsoo’s great-grandmother’s name on one side and drawing a smiley little cat face on the other. “Leave this at the shrine from me. The cat’s smiling because I’m happy your great-grandmother embarked. If she hadn’t, you wouldn’t be here, and I might’ve gotten stuck with Sehunnie as a roommate.” Sehun rolled his eyes as hard as he could, then signed his name to the note Junmyeon had written on his own clean napkin before passing it over to Minseok.  


“Here’s one from us too,” Minseok said, signing it and handing it to Kyungsoo. “Sorry it’s not a cartoon animal or anything but I think your great-grandmother will probably still accept it.”  


Kyungsoo smiled weakly and tucked both notes into his inside pocket. Junmyeon smiled too, eyes crinkling. “Ancestors guide and protect you for your devotion, Kyungsoo.”

  
Jongdae echoed him and the others nodded. “Ancestors guide and protect you, Kyungsoo. And I’ll put in a word for you with Basya too.” Kyungsoo found himself wrapped in one of Jongdae’s bone-crushing hugs, his upper arms absolutely pinned down to his body. “Go take care of Great-Grandma Subin, and she’ll take care of you. We’ll let the choir director know why you’re out, I’ll see you at home tonight.”  


Once Kyungsoo was released, he took a deep breath. “Thanks. Thanks guys I...gotta go get changed and head up, I’ll see you around.” He wasn’t sure why there was a lump in his throat.  


Back in his room, he dressed in his mourning clothes: all black, wide sleeves that fell well past his fingertips until he rolled them up, and a long piece of braided fabric tied around his head so the tail dangled down to his shoulders. He grabbed a stick of incense from beside his small shrine, a few pieces of candy from his cabinet, and the notes from his friends. Kyungsoo ripped a neat scrap of paper, writing his own name in his best handwriting before quickly sterilizing his pocketknife and the tip of his thumb with an alcohol wipe. He pricked his skin and pressed a red fingerprint over his name. As he sucked the remaining blood off his finger, he surveyed his side of the room. Everything was tidy as usual, and when he checked his pockets he was assured that he had everything he needed. But he found he really had to push himself to take even the few steps needed to leave the bedroom and enter the lounge.  


Everything there was tidy too. His potted plants were growing well, the cooktop and sink were clean, even Jongdae’s piles of thick graphic novels and electrical components were neater than usual.  


Then why was Kyungsoo having such a hard time breathing?

  
He stepped across the room and adjusted a little pot of flowers that sat on a shelf. It hadn’t needed any adjusting, it was perfectly in line with its neighbors. He gripped a petal gently, rubbing it between his fingertips for a moment before pressing his hand into the potting soil. The familiar textures soothed him enough to allow for a deep breath, a swallow around the rock in his throat. He let his sleeves drop past his fingers again before heading out to the lift.  


As fast as the lifts were, the ride up to the park still felt interminable. Kyungsoo didn’t like to think too much about the size of the ship, about the sheer indoor distance between his apartment in Sector KM and the ship’s central social space in Tesso Park. At least his family and most of his friends lived in Sector K too, all in nearby subsectors like K or L. His brother would probably in a lift up from his own apartment in Sector KL just then.  


Minutes later, with several stops along the way for more people to board or leave the lift, the doors finally opened to the park. Tesso Park was a perfect replica of what an open piece of land would be like on Tesso, where the ship would one day land. The grass was green, the ground muddy from the earlier rain. The sky displayed on the massive viewscreens overhead and down the distant walls was bluish, tinting to red and gold near the horizon. Sunset, just as it would be on Tesso for Those to Come. A sweet breeze blew, ruffling the leaves of the trees, bending the stalks of the tall blue flowers, and kicking up ripples on the surface of the far-off lake. Birds took off from high branches, only to settle again.  


But Kyungsoo didn’t have time to enjoy the view from a nearby hilltop. On another day he would likely have sat there and watched the life bustling and swaying and flying around him, spreading out farther than his eye could see. Today, he followed the curve of the ship’s outer wall, the small red triangles painted down by the grass reassuring him that he was headed the right way.  


Everyone who passed him, noting his long sleeves and fabric braid, muttered blessings on him and his ancestors. Kyungsoo could only incline his head in polite acknowledgement of his well-wishers until he reached the Shrine of the Embarking Ancestors at the ship’s First Door.  


His parents and grandparents were already there, and he bowed and made a formal greeting to them in light of the solemn occasion. Soon enough his brother Seungsoo arrived, followed shortly by his younger sister Haesoo. Kyungsoo noted that Haesoo must have made herself a new braid, since she was wearing one to match her dyed-red hair. The crowd of his extended family gathered, with some of his cousins also following the recent trend for bright, unnatural hair colors. Most, though, had natural hair like his aunts and uncles did, all with fabric braids to match. Of course his grandparents had long since begun to grow out their hair to make braids of their own.  


The First Door was a huge, imposing metal structure, just beyond which laid empty void. It was the door through which the original passengers, the Embarking Ancestors, had entered the ship decades ago to leave their homeworld of Earth behind forever. Just beside the door was the Shrine of the Embarking Ancestors, which was almost as intimidating as the door itself, and made of the same metal. A shining man and woman sat huge and enthroned, their faces serene and a bowl of fire shared between their laps. Below them were expanding ranks of smaller and smaller people.  


His grandparents called the ceremony to order and his relatives organized themselves by age, oldest closest to the shrine. Kyungsoo, as ever, knelt in the third and final row, between his siblings. His grandmother Jimin, matriarch of the family, lit a long candle from the eternal flame that burned in the bowl on the shrine. She made her stately way through the rows, lighting the stick of incense that each descendant had brought. When Jimin returned to the shrine and raised her hands, everyone bowed down. Kyungsoo gripped the smoking stick between his palms where his fabric-covered hands pressed together. The grass itched against his forehead and eyelids.  


His grandmother intoned the traditional words and prayers, Kyungsoo’s voice raising with the rest of his family at appropriate moments long-since memorized. He choked around the familiar words, and stumbled over movements he had repeated over and over and over.  


“Lee Subin, may your name be forever inscribed in the Book of Life, kept in the genealogy of _Dozen Wolves_ , and be carried on by   your descendants all the way to the surface of Tesso,” Jimin intoned. She lifted a glossy wooden box, opening it to reveal the coiled braid of Subin - the only part of a human that wouldn’t be taken back by the soil.  


Jimin walked through the rows again. Kyungsoo followed his brother in kissing the hem of his sleeve and letting it brush against the woven white hair in the box. His sister and their younger cousins followed in their turn. With all due respects paid to the remains of Subin, members of the family started making their way to the shrine to leave their offerings. When Kyungsoo’s turn came he placed his name and thumbprint in the central offering bowl with those of his elders. The candy and thankful notes from his friends went in the larger side bowls, and Kyungsoo bowed to offer a final silent prayer. Nobody could tell that no words came to him.  


With the remainder of the incense thrown into the eternal flame, the ceremony was over. Kyungsoo gave out hugs, and tried to make small talk with his siblings and cousins.

  
“Hey Kyungie,” Seungsoo said, his braid tucked in a back pocket and his sleeves rolled up. “Wanna come get a drink before we have to fast tomorrow?”

  
“Ooh, yes! Alcohol, lots of it. Always a good idea the day before you’re not gonna eat,” Haesoo laughed. “I’m in, let’s hit the bar. If I’m too hungover to wake up tomorrow morning, that’s less time spent hungry.”  


Kyungsoo fidgeted as his brother and sister looked at him expectantly. “I ah...I don’t think so guys, I wanna head home.”

  
“No, Kyungieeeee…” Haesoo whined, tugging on Kyungsoo’s sleeve just like she had since they were little  


Another day. Any other day he would have said yes. But he couldn’t...he had to…  


He yanked his sleeve from Haesoo’s grip. Too hard, too fast. She jumped.  


“No! I...I mean I’m sorry, I’ve had a long day I gotta get home. I’ll message you, um, dinner next week? See you guys.” And with that he bolted, hardly registering the bugging eyes and dropped jaws in his wake.  


He got back to the lift as fast as he could. He fitted himself into the back corner, but his wild eyes and tense body drove other passengers to sidle as far away from him as they could in the small space. Back in KM, he stuck himself close to the wall and sprinted to his quarters.

  
It didn’t matter that he closed the door as hard as he could; it slid home smooth and silent as ever. Jongdae was sprawled on the couch in the lounge, and looked up from the big viewscreen where he’d been watching a new drama series that had just begun broadcasting from one of the media production decks.  


“Hey, Soo!” Are you taking the day off tomorrow for your ancestor fast? I’m off too, I thought we could - Soo? Kyungsoo!” Jongdae called, but Kyungsoo had already slid the bedroom door shut behind him. He wheeled on his shelf, blindly knocking several books and his little ancestor shrine across the room. He dropped himself onto his bed, then reached for the control panel set into the wall above his pillow. For the first time in ages, he called up the privacy barrier that separated his side of the room from Jongdae’s. There. Now he could hardly hear Jongdae calling his name. Even the knuckles pounding on the barrier were pleasantly muffled. It almost sounded like it was raining again.  


Kyungsoo toed his shoes off weakly, and just stared for a while. The opaque wall he had summoned from the floor was very nice. He liked it, especially once the noises from the other side stopped. Just him then. Except that the little viewscreen in the wall at the foot of his bed was showing a stream of the stars as they slowly drifted by. Kyungsoo tapped at the panel again and the screen went blank. Now. Good. Just him.  


At precisely 05:00:00, Kyungsoo’s alarm went off. At precisely 05:00:08, nothing hit him in the head. And by the time he summoned the energy to reach for the control panel and drop the dividing wall, Jongdae was already sitting up in bed, staring at him.  


Kyungsoo had fallen asleep in his mourning clothes, braid and all. He quickly shucked them off and yanked on a clean t-shirt and sweatpants. Before Jongdae had the chance to say anything to him, he bolted barefoot for the lift. He jabbed the button hard, just once, thankful that few people rode the lifts at this hour. His forehead throbbed, and for a moment he reached up to rub at the indentations he could feel there, left behind by the braid. Then he realized he didn’t care. When the lift opened on the park, Kyungsoo began his walk, talking the long way across the grass rather than following the paths. His feet dragged through the grass for nearly an hour and a half before he reached his destination.  


The Final Door was set exactly opposite the First Door. When the ship landed on Tesso, it was the door his Alighting Descendants would pass through before heading down to the surface. Outside the ship for the first time in centuries.  


Around the door was the family tree of the ship itself. _Dozen Wolves_ was hardly the first ship of its kind, that was _Lone Wolf_ . _Lone Wolf_ begat _Twin Wolves_ . _Twin Wolves_ begat _Three Wolves_ , begat _Lucky Wolves_ begat begat begat begat...all the way down to _Dozen Wolves_ . Sometime not long before Kyungsoo died, _Wolf Coven_ would be launched, and its fresco added to the wall. And as for after he died...Kyungsoo pressed his hand to the scanner set in the viewscreen, and his personal genealogy appeared above it. His great-grandparents, the Embarking generation, were at the top, above a line captioned ‘Earth’. They begat his grandparents’ generation, begat his parents’ generation, begat Kyungsoo’s generation.

  
And there was Do Kyungsoo, his birthdate and a dash under his name and photograph. Then below that, a blank space taller than the family tree above it. Blank, empty, blank, then finally at the bottom, the curving green horizon of Tesso.  


Kyungsoo felt so heavy. And his insides were hollowed out, too weak to hold up his thousand-pound skin. He let himself drop to the dirt, and just sat there for a moment, just a moment to recover. And little bugs began crawling over his feet, and dogs came to sniff at him and try to play, and kites flew overhead, and people knelt to ask if he was all right or they avoided him entirely. And the image of the sun moved across the screens and Kyungsoo hardly moved a muscle until he noticed the sky turning red-gold in front of him.

  
He pulled his front door open, and had to lean all his weight to close it behind him. Jongdae looked up from the lounge table where he was tinkering with a little robot, but he said nothing. Kyungsoo found himself in the bedroom, and sat on the edge of his bed. Almost instantly, tears began rolling soundlessly down his cheeks. Then his breath started heaving out of his control, and soon he was crying harder than he had in years.  


He felt the bed dip beside him, and an arm around his shoulder. “Hey, Kyungsoo,” Jongdae crooned. “You’re ok, it’s ok.” Kyungsoo immediately took a deep breath, trying to wipe the tears off his face and straighten his back. “No no no, you cry as hard as you possibly can, You’ve clearly needed to since last night, don’t let me stop you.” He patted and rubbed at Kyungsoo’s back, keeping uncharacteristically quiet.

  
“It’s just…” Kyungsoo choked out after a few minutes. “I’m _nobody_ , Jongdae. I’m too young to have even met my Embarking Ancestors, and who’s gonna alight for me? I’m not like you, I don’t know how to flirt, I feel awkward on dates, and even if I ever do have kids...I mean it’s gonna be my great-great grandkids and THEIR kids who make landfall. I’m not gonna know any of _them_ either. I’m just in the middle and I’m only ever gonna amount to potting soil I’m just this guy who works in a store and I’m _NOBODY_ and -” Kyungsoo was cut off by a new wave of tears that shook his whole body.

  
“Shh, shh shh, it’s ok, Soo, it’s ok.”

  
Kyungsoo felt a pull at his legs as they were drawn up and to the side. “Dae what’re you-”

  
“Shh, shut up shut up, shhhhh, just…” Jongdae said softly as he manhandled Kyungsoo into his lap, leaning back on the wall. On pure instinct, Kyungsoo curled against Jongdae’s chest and buried his face in his roommate’s shoulder. He cried a huge wet spot onto Jongdae’s shirt as arms wrapped tight around him and rocked him gently from side to side. Jongdae pressed kisses to Kyungsoo’s hair and forehead until the man in his lap began to calm.

  
“First of all Kyungsoo, you’re not nobody, ok? Your family loves you, your friends love you, you know I love you because I’m letting you get your snot all over me. You, Kyungsoo, are my sunshine. My only sunshine.  


“Oh lord, Jongdae, not this,” Kyungsoo choked around half a laugh.

  
“You make me happyyyy! When skies are graaaaaay!” Jongdae howled, rocking back and forth hard and whipping Kyungsoo around with him.

  
“Ugh, Jongdae! I am not sunshine. If anyone’s sunshine it’s you, you cheerful weirdo.”  


“Fine fine have it your way. I am your sunshine! Your only sunshine!” Kyungsoo managed a real laugh and started wiping his face on the hem of his shirt. “I make you happyyyy! Whether you like it or nottt! You’ll never know, Soo, how much I looooove you! Please don’t...um...sun...my sunshiney shiiiiine!” By the time Jongdae bellowed out the last note, Kyungsoo wasn’t crying anymore, though his face and eyes were still burning red.

  
“You know those aren’t the words,” he chided hoarsely.  


“Yes and if I cared I would care,” Jongdae, said, finally releasing Kyungsoo. “But I do care about you, ok? We didn’t embark and we won’t alight but we all just have to matter to each other, and like, train our descendants to leave really extravagant and stupid stuff on our shrines after we die so we can laugh at them from the afterlife.” Kyungsoo nodded, but frowned again and averted his eyes from Jongdae’s.

“Heyyy,” Jongdae continued, tilting Kyungsoo’s face back up. “Don’t get down on yourself again, ok? If you ever get really desperate and don’t think you’ll have descendants, I promise I will have some test tube babies with you. They can pull off amazing things in the genetics labs now, they do that all the time. _Dozen Wolves_ would be lucky to have my fabulous babies in the gene pool, and you’ll make sure they’re pocket-sized and adorable, it’ll be perfect. Ok?”

  
Kyungsoo sighed, but he smiled. “Ok, sure.”   
  
  
“Good!” Jongdae grinned. “And you definitely matter to the choir, by the way. Your section sounded like complete ass without you last night. The director tore them a new one for depending on you too heavily, you shoulda seen it. So, did you observe your ancestor fast today?”  


Kyungsoo realized it hadn’t occurred to him to eat or drink even once all day. “I mean, technically I guess? I didn’t do it on purpose but -”  


“Doesn’t matter, I’m sure Subin is happy with you anyway. But the sun’s definitely down now and you're allowed to eat again, so here’s what we’re gonna do. We’re gonna go to the dining hall, you’re gonna eat something with a whole bunch of protein, and then you’re gonna have at least two desserts. Sound good?”  


“Yeah I guess, but Jongdae…”

  
“I know, that doesn’t solve the problem. But Soo, I’m in no position to solve the problem. I feel the same way you do sometimes. We can work on getting help for that tomorrow, ok? They knew this would happen to our generations before the ship even launched, there’s people whose whole job it is to deal with this. But nobody ever feels better about an existential crisis when they’re hungry, so I demand that you come have some cake with me.”  


Kyungsoo took a deep breath and nodded. “Ok. Ok, yes. Let’s go to dinner and then...will you come to the psych offices with me tomorrow?”  


Jongdae’s face really was like sunshine then, and he dropped another big, smacking kiss on Kyungsoo’s unkempt hair. “Yes, absolutely. The one in this sector has some really good-looking nurses too, so maybe we’ll be able to avoid the test tube option after all.”  


“You’re gross,” Kyungsoo said fondly as he rose and straightened his shirt. “Lemme just go wash my face and I’ll be ready for food.”  


“Excuse me?” Jongdae said, feigning shock as he stood. “Do you know how much I’m thinking about food now? And you’re gonna make me wait longer for my cake just so you can straighten up your ugly mug? That could take FOREVER! No, come on!” He grabbed Kyungsoo’s wrist and bolted with him through the lounge, then out into the corridor.  


As they dashed down the hall, both barefoot and laughing as their hair flew madly in the breeze, Kyungsoo started to feel full again. And while his skin was still a little heavy on his bones, his heart was lighter.

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story this long I've written in a really REALLY long time and I'm actually pretty proud of it. Any comments are gleefully appreciated, so please let me know what you think!
> 
> This particular story is over, but I could definitely see myself writing more in this AU!


End file.
